Goodbye My Lover

“So take the photographs and still frames in your mind.  Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.  Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.  For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.”

--Green Day, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

To set the stage for this post, I am sitting in the Athens airport waiting for my flight to Rome.  I barely even remember flying into this airport last time.  The few memories that I have include watching one guy from my flight because I was curious about what he was doing in Athens.  And getting in a cab.  There was a line that I waited in and a bus somewhere in there, but those are vague memories.  Logically, I knew that I should be a little worried about going to my hotel, since it was in the “bad” area of a city that I didn’t know.  Somehow, I didn’t feel worried about the cab or my hotel.  It must have been a sign that my time in Athens was going to be wonderful.

I am typing the next part from a piece of computer paper with scribbles all over it.

Currently, I am sitting on a bus to the airport at Syntagma.  I literally just hopped on the bus, so I am hot and sweaty from my 15 minute walk from my apartment.  Apparently, taxis have been on strike all week, and I just haven’t noticed.  It is kind of embarrassing that I haven’t noticed anything was different.  Once it was pointed out to me, the lack of yellow cars on the street seemed obvious.  The only time I really use taxis is late at night to go out and to get to the airport (or in this case, I would have used one to go to Syntagma to catch the bus.  Taxis to the airport are something like 35 euros during the day or 50 at night, the rough equivalent of $50 or $75.)  As I said, I walked to Syntagma weighed down with all of my stuff.  It was strange because I had a posse walk me to Syntagma, and they all commented that I hadn’t brought much.  It is true that one of my bags is filled with things that I accumulated while in Greece.  While I agree that I don’t have an abundance of things, by the end of my walk I was feeling everything that I had brought.  Luckily, I will be sending some of my unnecessary bags and other luggage home in Rome—I love Brianna’s parents so much right now.  I carried all of my stuff, with the exception of one grocery bag, the entire way to Syntagma!  I am a beast, thank you very much.

Going backwards, we had a farewell lunch with almost everyone today.  Three people flew out this morning, so 17 students came.  Add to that our professor, Aleko, and everyone’s favorite bus driver Christos made a guest appearance!  It was like reliving some parts of the trip all over again.  We ate so much good food (although we all agreed that Christos and his family was the highlight of the trip).  We went to the same taverna at the start and the end of my first class, so it was as if we were finishing the same way that we started.  This particular meal was slightly strange in that no one had their cameras out.  It was different from most of our meals, but it felt like we belonged in this country.

And then came good-byes.  I hate good-byes.  I was fine.  I swear I was.  Until I actually had to start hugging people.  All of this past week I have been in denial that I am actually leaving.  That the end is coming.  I still don’t think I realize that I am leaving.  That I am on my way to the airport.

It’s not ok.

It’s a lie.

Except, right now—this seems like real life.

I got up to leave the table a little early because I still didn’t have everything packed completely and was starting to freak out a little.  I just had a few extra things to squeeze into my bag.  Then came hug time.  I just started going around the table and hugging everyone while they were sitting in their seats.  It meant that I hit everyone at the table, and it made sense.  The first few hugs meant the realization that I’m leaving.  So I got a little choked up.  But then hugs became normal.  So I was good.  Until I came to Caitie and Anna, who requested to be skipped.  After my awkward hug fest around the table, I came to two of the girls I had lived with for the past eight weeks in Athens.  (Stephanie, the other girl I had lived with for eight weeks, had already lightened the mood by calling me albino as we parted.) 

And suddenly, as I am saying goodbye to these two girls, little wet drops started accumulating in my eyes.  I think those are typically called tears.  Next thing I know, I am crying with a whole table looking at me, not to mention the adults who were probably thinking I am crazy and the Greek waiter who I am sure thought the water works in front of him were very unnecessary.  And I start laughing at myself for crying.  So much for trying to be strong and detached for goodbyes.  I think that a part of it was that I was the only one saying goodbye to everyone, so all of the attention was on me.  It wasn’t a group hug party.    

I went back to the apartment, grabbed my stuff, and stopped by the taverna again before heading to Syntagma.  This time, I was able to say goodbye in a more composed manner, which made me feel better.  And then I picked up my parade from the taverna for Syntagma.  Of course I trekked past the guards one last time!

Packing was an adventure.  I literally don’t think I could squeeze anything more in.  I stuffed my suitcase completely full, tried to close it, and then had to rearrange everything three times before I could zip it shut.  I bought a new, larger bag while I was here to carry on, and it is currently also stuffed.  I am also carrying a purse and a grocery bag, which I know won’t fly for the airline (Haha, I’m so punny!)  I know I will do some major rearranging.  --Side note: Budget airlines only let you carry on one bag.  I ended up throwing away a little bit of food I was hoping to bring and stuffing everything into my bag without zipping it shut so that I could carry it onto the plane in one bag.  It’s so stupid, because the second I walked onto the plane, I split my bags into two separate bags.  –Either way, I consider my packing a success.  I am so excited to take out my unnecessary items and send them home, so my load will be a bit less full soon!

I finished my final paper a little before 6 this morning.  It felt so good to finally have it done.  It also seemed more normal to stay up late and finish work, something I haven’t done since I had been here.  I took a quick little nap until 9:30 or so and then got up to start my final part of a Greek day.

I revisited the Temple of Olympian Zeus as my historical site for today.  Two days ago, I climbed Mount Lycabettus and realized just how big the Temple to Zeus was.  I saw this massive space of open land dedicated to Zeus in the middle of the city.  I had to stop by and revisit the majestic site.  The size is so impressive.  You can’t fully realize how monstrous this area is from the ground.  The mountain also helped me realize how much I had learned about Athens in my time here.  My first few days in Athens, I climbed Philopappos Hill.  I had no clue what anything was, and even when my professor was trying to point out significant landmarks, I often couldn’t find them.  At the top of this hill, I was able to figure out where my apartment was.  I have come a long way in just eight short weeks.

My last few days in Athens were bittersweet.  While I was in denial that I was leaving, I still had lots of things I wanted to do.  So many things, and most of them weren’t accomplished.  In all fairness, my list was a bit unreasonable.  I did finish all of the important things.

I was obsessed with the fact that I was leaving.  I was trying to make it real.  At the same time, I wanted to be fully present and experience my last few days in Athens.  It’s like the end of a weekend.  All weekend, you know Sunday night is coming, and you will have to finish your homework and prepare for the next week.  But you are in denial.  And you hope that if you ignore it hard enough, it will go away.  But Sunday night always comes, and you always (if you are me at least) have to do all of your homework from the weekend.  I started missing Athens before I even left it.

As a second part to this post, I have now been in Rome for a little over one day.  That day has been hectic and chaotic and I know I have made more mistakes than I can count on all of my fingers and toes.  If I can say anything, I will at least say that it has been an adventure.

Firstly, I flew into the airport and found out that my bag made it to Rome!  Hurray!  I didn’t have to repeat the beginning of my trip.  However, the next step involved transportation from the airport.  I decided that I didn’t want to pay between 40 or 60 euro for a taxi, so I opted for the train.  I had been told that the train was around 9 euro, but it actually cost me 14.  In my mad dash for the train, I didn’t see a validation machine, so my ticket wasn’t validated—the punishment for this can be steep.  I was standing right near stairs on the train, and my balance isn’t so great.  I felt like I was being thrown around the entire ride into the city.  When we showed up at the central station, a guard walks on the train and requests my ticket before I can disembark.  Of course, I had put my ticket in my wallet which was in my purse.  So I started to dig it out.  By the time I had my ticket out, he was far enough away that I just walked out.  I had paid for the ticket, so it isn’t like I did anything wrong.  The only thing I could do is reuse the ticket, which I won’t have any reason to.

I then walked what felt like a mile with ALL of my stuff to the metro area.  I just kept telling myself that if I could make it from my apartment to Syntagma, surely I could make it to the start of the metro-wherever that was.  I came just to find out that the metro station (at least where I was) was closed.  It either closed at 9 (I showed up at 9) or it had been closed all night.  So I ended up taking a taxi from the station to the hotel, which wasn’t too bad.  It just meant a little extra walking for me.

Then came the hotel.  When I showed up, I tried to check in.  Apparently, the front desk didn’t have my name or anything.  I was able to access an e-mail that said I could stay there, but the person at the desk said she needed verbal permission.  I looked up the phone number I had for Brianna, but she didn’t answer.  The front desk person said that she did have single rooms available, but they cost more than I was willing to pay for one night.  I literally sat in the hotel lobby for close to an hour.  She finally called another receptionist, who apparently informed her that I had permission to get into the room.  I had already started trying to come up with a contingency plan, but hadn’t really finalized any solid plan.  By this point in time, my night involved getting off a plane, spending an hour getting to the hotel, and then waiting another hour until I could finally get into the room.  By the time I finally made it to my room, I was grumpy.  I wasn’t in Athens anymore.  I had been through enough challenges.  And I am sure it didn’t help that I hadn’t had dinner yet, although I wasn’t really hungry.

I decided that I could give myself a night to dislike Rome.  I knew that it had taken me away from my love Athens.  So it was okay to dislike it a little bit at least.  There were so many people out, so I went around for a little nighttime walk.  I managed to get myself to the Pantheon without realizing it, which was really strange.  I didn’t realize that it was the Pantheon until sometime today.  When I returned to the room, I was exhausted.  I managed to watch the only English channel: CNN.  I actually stayed up for a little while and organized myself before bed.

I let myself sleep in today.  I then just started walking around.  Just walking around, I think I ran into any number of important sites.  It is a different type of city from Athens.  While there are ruins here, many of the old buildings have been restored more.  In that sense, the city looks more put together, but technically isn’t as old. 

I tried to find my hostel from the hotel a couple times.  The first I actually made it a part of the way here, but then I gave up because I couldn’t figure out what street I was on or where I was.  I tried to direct myself back to the hotel and actually ended up two blocks from the hotel.  Surprisingly, I was able to find my way back.  After a short break, I decided to try to get to the hostel again.  This time was a success, but I think that I walked twice the distance necessary.  I seemed to miss most of the streets that google maps told me to turn down.  I would go too far.  A few minutes later, I would see an area I recognized.  I would be a block away from where I turned around, down the street that I knew was in the right general direction of where I needed to go.  It was a little frustrating, but I now could probably find my way from my hostel to the hotel fairly easily. 

I continued walking around.  Eventually, I found myself at the Colosseum.  On a Saturday, the Colosseum becomes bride central.  I am pretty sure I saw no less than six wedding dresses at the Colosseum in a very short span of time.  As I was walking around the Colosseum, I started thinking about Greece.  Various parts of my trip were running around in my head when suddenly Derek was right in front of me.  Derek was in my last class in Greece, and I knew that he was coming to Rome along with Mark and Mary.  The timing of my thoughts with Derek’s arrival was uncanny.  Considering how big Rome is, I find it very impressive and strange that I did happen to see the students from CYA sometime during the day, even though I was in a heavy tourist area.

I ended up walking around with Derek, Mark, and Mary for a couple hours tonight.  I ended up meeting up with Brianna after her train got back and finally met her parents before grabbing some dinner, gelato, and a cab back to my hostel.

Apparently, one of the times I returned to the hotel, the original front desk person thought it was suspicious that I flew by her on my way up to the room.  It was later in the afternoon, and I still had a key to access the room, but she thought that I should have checked in with her or something.  So she decided to unauthorized all of the keys.  In essence, this meant that later, Brianna and her parents all had to get new keys that would work to unlock their door.  I don’t think that this particular hotel likes me very much.

I still miss Athens.  I know that Rome will be a cool adventure, but it is hard to love something that has torn you away from your home.  I just have to keep giving it a chance.  I don’t know Italian as well as I do Greek, so it may be in part that I can’t communicate very well here.  Even though I have been excited about returning to areas where they flush toilet paper, I have had to stop myself from throwing away my toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom.  I have literally opened the trash can and stopped myself just short of tossing it in the trash.  But, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.